I am going to excuse my below comments by saying it’s been a long freaking week and TGIF!!! Now yes, sometimes I do have the mind of a 13 year old boy BUT in my defense the toys I am about to share were really asking for it. I would love nothing more for you to read this blog and share your #toyfail with me anyway possible. I get the biggest kick out of these things. Here are some of our best!

This little beauty was my inspiration. Daddy is a sucker for his babygirl and whenever they do “dates” while I am working she comes home with a fun new surprise (one time it was an American Girl Baby don’t get me started on that one). Craig has learned to go a little simpler with the “prizes” and came home with this Minnie Mouse gem the other day. I am a fan of Lip Smacker. I have loved them since I took my first bite out of a Dr. Pepper one. In fact, Bonne Belle started Lip Smacker in 1973 launching the flavors strawberry, green apple, and orange chocolate and really reinventing the whole lip protection game! So my question is… Bonne… WTH were you thinking with this packaging? Don’t get me wrong the flavor and smell are still amazing but really? REALLY??? I won’t go any further but I do know a chihuahua that has a very similar “chapstick”. #TOYFAIL

Being a 90’s kid, all I wanted in life was a Teddy Ruxpin. A talking bear??!! That was just about the coolest thing around. My parents were awesome enough to get me one and he was my best friend for a while ( I may or may not still have mine). He batted his sweet little eyes and shared the most outlandish fairytales as I read along with him. So naturally, when the remake came out two years ago and it was the hot Christmas ticket, I fought my way through rabid parents and grandparents to get my hands on one (JK I bought it on Amazon). Christmas morning came and that was MY gift. The golden gift I couldn’t wait to see the kids open and fall in love with just like I had so many years ago. Well, below is what they opened and if you would like a TERRIFYING robot bear that scowls at you and has dead eyes when you turn it off… you can have it. For $80.00. #TOYFAIL

Fingerlings. Everyone loves them. Who wouldn’t love a multi colored burping, tooting little monkey?! We have about 57 in our house and sometimes they make unexpected noises in the middle of the night that are quit shocking. Well my mama aka Glamma bought us a special special present on one of her trips called the “Fingerling Tail Ring Fling”. I WISH you all could have seen mine and Craig’s face as we pulled the parts out of the box. It includes a bald cap with a tuft of hair on it, rings for tossing, and a multi colored curved strap o…. I mean velcro on tail. Another example of not a lot of thought going into this one. You’re welcome for the visual. #TOYFAIL

Yes our family has tattoos and yes our kids know they are real. I won’t be the mom going to take my kiddos to get tattoos before they are 18. I waited and they will have to too. HOWEVER, during a diaper change with Dakota’s Cabbage Patch doll she discovered a “butt tootoo”. Why??? You could have signed your doll ANYWHERE why did it have to be the bum. It is her most favorite doll and every time she shows someone you get to hear about the “butt tootoo”. If my daughter comes home one day with a “tattoo on her tooshy” (Sorry Craig borrowed lyrics from “Half a Halo Angel”. That line might not be so funny one day babe…) I am making a complaint. Thank you Cabbage Patch. #TOYFAIL

And the grand finale… MR. STRETCH ARMSTRONG. This guy is another classic and when they came out with little mini ones I had to get him for Jax. He loved it, played with it, stretched it for maybe an hour and then this happened. Was there no product testing done? Was there not a better ink that could have been used? This was quit possibly the hardest I have ever laughed at anything. Cheers to #TOYFAIL s!