Faith

TWINS! Just kidding just kidding just kidding. 🙂 We are absolutely having ONE more baby. Are you as shocked as we are? We had a comment that said “It always cracks me up when parents say they were “shocked” to find out they were pregnant…” Whelp even though we love sharing life with you guys I won’t get into that much of our life. I will just let you know we truly were surprised and leave it at that.

I will be totally honest when I say that I wasn’t ready. Boston was born Jan 2, 2020 and we really thought we might be complete with him. Before I get too deep into this, I want to say that I went through a miscarriage after Dakota. I was only 7 weeks when I miscarried but that was truly heartbreaking and painful. I have so many incredible women in my life who have suffered from loss and infertility so I need to be sure I choose my words carefully before I discuss the mental challenge of becoming pregnant when I really wasn’t prepared. It is something few women talk about in fear of being judged by those who have the opposite issues and I understand why. Having been through both now, I feel more confident in discussing.

Babies are always a blessing. I knew that before and I know that now. However, I felt guilt for 2 months straight when I couldn’t even mention the idea of having another without crying. I was upset with myself, I was upset with Craig, and I was confused. We found out MUCH later than normal because my body was still recovering from having Boss. I’d gotten into a groove of having 4 kids, I had gotten back to my pre-birth weight, my scar from having a third c-section finally felt good, I had really begun to settle into this life of 6. I was ashamed in myself for being sad about something so good. I didn’t want to share because until I could wrap my head around having one more, I wasn’t ready to let anyone else know. In hindsight I wish I would have shared. Community is something that has become so obviously important especially after a year like 2020. I won’t make that same mistake ever again in any aspect of my life. No one was meant to be alone or feel like they are and even though I have an extremely supportive husband, family and friend base I put myself into a position that made me feel exactly that…alone. Make note of this if you haven’t already learned it.

Craig held my hand, my heart and my mind through 2 months of sadness. We decided we would tell the kids and family around Christmas. I was ready by then. We found out gender together just the two of us. We enjoyed the firsts together as much as we could even though he isn’t able to go to all of the appointments and ultrasounds like he has before. We started pulling old clothes out and prepping together in the most beautiful, intimate way and it became a positive before I knew it. All of the fear left my heart and head through prayer and love.

So, on Christmas day, Santa secretly planted one extra stocking on our fireplace mantle with a special note inside along with scratchers from Amazon that say your surprise is a new baby. Below is what the note read. The reactions were priceless, the love was overwhelming and I can now say that HER timing is PERFECT and we are so very excited for this little baby girl due May 2, 2021. (I do tend to have the babies about a week and a half or two early which puts Craig in Texas so PRAY FOR US 🙂 Love you all, thank you for the support, stay steadfast in faith and take advantage of those around you because alone is NEVER better.

2020 has been different

Much different than most

We ran out of TP

From East to West coast

The Boyd bunch rallied

They got creative instead

Of sulking and crying all alone in their bed

You have loved on each other

Through thick and through thin

That is why Jesus and I

Decided to add one more in!

Scratch away and you’ll see our extra special surprise

We love you and thank you for being angels in disguise

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

P.S Dakota Lynn every prayer was heard

I wish I could say we are always happy. I wish I could say things are easy. I wish I could say we are strong and nothing affects us. BUT I can’t. We have been sad as a family and I have been exceptionally sad as a wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend. I pray, I have faith, I wake up with high hopes every morning but lately all of it feels overwhelming.

Yesterday I asked Craig to grab bulk diapers from Walmart on the way home from picking up Jax because we needed diapers and right now we need cheap ones. They did and I was thankful. This morning I was woken up with a thank you card from Craig and the babies. I didn’t sleep well last night with a teething one year old. I am also not a morning person. But waking up to a card with a personalized note from my husband and each of our kids who are old enough to write’s signatures, was something I didn’t know I needed. My heart crumbled, my fears disappeared, exhaustion seemed like the least of my concerns and I felt full.

Later I found out that Jax read five different cards himself to pick the one he knew would melt me the way it did. The fact that my husband spent the time with not only our son but my stepson showing him the ways of being a good man to a woman melted me even more. Hence additional tears. After I read the card, my five year old daughter brought me her favorite unicorn stuffed animal to cuddle with. My three year old son brought me an ice pack from the freezer because he’s the klutzy one who usually needs a good icing after a fall. My one year old didn’t know what was going on and that was fine. BUT knowing I have this kind of support in my house will keep me going happily and strongly for another year.

Partners, especially those who are struggling financially, it just takes a card. I put so much unnecessary pressure sometimes on date nights or adult time but a home-made or bought from Halmark for six bucks card is perfect. I can’t explain the fuel that I have from those simple words and signatures. It was just too special to forget and too special to not share. LOVE to everyone. Pray, have faith, and write a card for someone you think might need it right now.